Hey, remember when this used to be a thing? I don't imagine I'll get to 50 (I don't think I ever managed that once, even when I used to tear through books at a much faster pace), so I'm setting the bar at a modest 25.

( 2013: Books ReadCollapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://moreinsanerer.dreamwidth.org/3875.html.

Spoke to my dad yesterday about the CD (Ronen's debut album! Now available for $15 if you happen to run into me in person). We're working on the process to get said CD onto iTunes for online purchase, which also involves setting up an account with CDbaby. They want a profile, a list of similar artists and such. Should be fun, right? Until my dad (who, yes, helped me work on the album) comes out with this gem:

"I know there are some -- political things you like to do, but I think it's a good idea to avoid those until you have a following."

In other words, I shouldn't put stuff in my bio that might scare people away like, for instance, any mention of my gender identity.

My initial internal reaction was irritation but, because even after years of painstakingly growing the beginning of a spine I still have a crippling fear of confrontation, all I said was "That's a school of thought."

And then I spent most of this morning being fucking pissed off.

As if gender is purely political. As if my own thoughts on my own gender are something open to interpretation by anyone else. As if honesty is a luxury only reserved for those with a healthy fan base. And if anyone is going to avoid my artistic work based on which pronoun I use - because that's a subset of the people I'm going to attract if I avoid mentioning it - why the fuck do I want their 'support' in the first place?

I think my dad thinks he's approaching this from a business standpoint. He thinks there won't be enough out there for me if I'm honest from the start. I disagree because I know the queer community and its allies, I know fan culture and Tumblr culture and I know that all of them are huge, but I don't know how to get him to understand that. The fact that he's my dad in addition to being my business partner doesn't exactly make it easier. ( cut because this gets further into emotional territory from here.Collapse )

I've been calling 2012 the year I learned how to grow up (by my definition). I wonder if 2013 will be the year I learn to use my anger.

God, I hope so.

This entry was originally posted at http://moreinsanerer.dreamwidth.org/3786.html.

Living off of others' words until I can get my own in order:

I'm trying to find my peace,
I was made to believe there's something wrong with me,
and it hurts my heart.
((Janelle Monae, 'Cold War'))

Push back, push back, push back,
in every word, in every breath.
What God doesn't give to you, you've got to go and get for yourself.
((Against Me!, 'Bamboo Bones'))

I know I am different! I have tried to be the same, but I am different! Why can I not be who I am?
((The Creature, 'Frankenstein' adapted by Nick Dear))

...yeah, having an angryemotional day.

This entry was originally posted at http://moreinsanerer.dreamwidth.org/3345.html.

2012 has been a good year for theatre, hooboy.

I have to say that for being a supposedly cursed play, Macbeth sure does get produced a lot. I'd seen... four? Maybe five productions of it before last night. Way more than I've seen of any other Shakespeare, either way. It might be because I've seen so many interpretations (some better than others) that I'm rather fond of it. Or maybe that's the witchcraft.

Anyway, last night John and I went to see - 'experience' might be a better word - a wholly unique adaptation being put on in New York City: Sleep No More. It is truly an adaptation in that almost none of Shakespeare's original text is present, and in that the format is unlike most theatre. The production takes place on several floors of a building, and the audience - given white plastic masks and instructed not to speak - is free to wander around the space, to poke into drawers and around set pieces. You may or may not run into an actor or two at any given time, and you can try to follow a specific character when they leave the space, but... that doesn't always work.

When you add up everything that happens in Sleep No More, there's over 14 hours of material, but each guest only gets about a two-and-a-half hours' worth of experience. Before the experience begins, guests are advised not to 'cling to each other,' and John and I got separated about as early on as you possibly could...

( Here follows spoilers, of a sort.Collapse )

That's enough for highlights, I think, but man, I'm still remembering all the little things I saw and felt and experienced while I was there. I would definitely go again - so long as the run keeps getting extended into infinity, the way it has been all year.

This entry was originally posted at http://moreinsanerer.dreamwidth.org/2840.html.

I don't know that this dream necessarily meant anything (it might, it might not, who knows), but it certainly left a mark.

( Doors that are not meant to be opened, places that are not meant to be explored.Collapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://moreinsanerer.dreamwidth.org/2115.html.

(Note: This is a cross-post from my more public Wordpress blog.)

"You have a very active imagination."

That's what my dad said to me. We were sitting in the car (where we have most of our important conversations these days) on a rainy day, talking about my genderqueerness, and what my dad saw as the reasons I started identifying that way.

He was referring to the fact that I never grew out of playing pretend, and even as a child I took it very seriously. I put on a costume and I would become that costume. I would allow my outward appearance to transform my behavior. According to my father, my active imagination had led me to choose genderqueer as an identity I had wanted to put on. He wasn't saying there was no internal basis, but he was using my imagination as an excuse. In essence, he was saying that what I thought of as my Real Self wasn't 'really' real.

( Read more...Collapse )

This entry was originally posted at http://moreinsanerer.dreamwidth.org/566.html. Please comment there using OpenID.

This is a muselist for roleplaying purposes.

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Aaaah, that feels good. I hadn't made a fanvideo since 2006, when I did the Foo Fighters' "DOA" cut with footage from Serenity and 20th Century Fox actually sent me a cease-and-desist e-mail through YouTube. Because my little hobby was clearly losing them so much revenue.

Anyway, it was equal parts that event, apathy, losing my capture software, and not caring about any fandom enough to vid it that led me to not make any videos for nearly five years. But now... *glances at LJ layout... and my icon page* ...Yeah. =)

( VIDEO THE FIRSTCollapse )

( VIDEO THE SECONDCollapse )

I've seen others do this, and I do enjoy making lists. No plot details given, screencaps are relatively non-spoilery and come from here and here.

( a_leprechaun's Top Ten New-WhoCollapse )

Usually when I post dreams, it's because they had something profoundly beautiful or touching that I want to share. This, on the other hand, was just really wacky and weird, albeit incredibly finely detailed.

So yeah, beware of teal deer.

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